Didn't Your Mother Ever Tell You If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Anything At All?

Elizabeth Weintraube, relates an experience which is really quite sad. Her colleague's jealousy kept her from learning what she had asked to learn. We better serve our clients when we have good rapport with other agents--and it makes life a lot smoother and happier for all. What's your attitude?

land park agentA while back an agent in my office asked if I would be willing to spend some time with her. She asked me to explain how to do a daily real estate blog and show her what I do online. While it may seem to some that everybody is online these days, I know that they aren't. Especially older real estate agents, which tend to make up most of the population of any given real estate office. But I like to help people when I can, so I agreed to talk with this agent.

We went into the conference room and sat in front of the computer. I explained what I do and where I post my blogs. To show her why I blog, I went to Google and put in the search term "east sacramento agent." My blogs and website popped up a number of times in the first 10 results.

I expected to see amazement in the agent's eyes. But that's not what happened, and I was completely unprepared for her reaction. Her eyes flashed anger and hatred. Her lips quivered. She said in a demanding tone, "That's not fair. I've been selling homes in East Sacramento for 25 years. Why isn't my name there?"

Last night I watched an ESPN special. Now, ESPN is not a channel that I watch but I was introduced to its "30 for 30" film series by my husband. Its documentary "Unmatched" is about the friendship between pro tennis champs Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova. Two competitors. 80 matches. Friends. It was moving.

See, I don't hate anybody in real estate. Maybe that's easy for me to say because I'm basically a pretty easy-going person. I look at the wide variety of people who are in this business and, even if I don't particularly like another agent, I figure someday I might represent a buyer who would like to buy that agent's listing or vice versa so I try to find something to like about the person. I respect other real estate agents. I welcome competition. Maybe I'll win the listing, maybe I won't. It's OK either way.

There is an agent in my Land Park office who sells a lot of homes in Land Park. She sells more than me, although I'm not so sure about this year. I admire her. I look up to her. I hold absolutely no grudge against her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about me.

I often hear other agents openly bad mouthing competitors. For some, it's jealousy or rivalry. For others, it might be some kind of unjustified compensation factor because they think that by tearing somebody else down they can build themselves up. Or they might have just reason. Maybe the agent is the lying, cheating, conniving, person some in the public think we are but sooner or later that person will get what's coming. It's karma.

I feel ashamed when I hear those types of comments from my fellow agents about their competitors. I think we as agents should do a better job of supporting each other and stop stabbing each other in the back. That kind of behavior is disgraceful. Our economic times is trying enough as it is. If Evert and Navratilova can do it, so can we. You think?

sacramento short sale agent


Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout Sacramento. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.

The Short Sale Savior, by Elizabeth Weintraub, available through bookstores everywhere and at Amazon.com.

Photo: Unless otherwise noted in this blog, the photo is copyrighted by Big Stock Photo and used with permission.

The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of Lyon Real Estate.

Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice. It could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.


--- Come for a visit; Stay for a lifetime!

Lottie Kendall, Realtor®


CA DRE#10215160; 650-465-4547



Peninsula Living Business Page




Comment balloon 7 commentsLottie Kendall • September 19 2010 10:21AM


Lottie-That is actually something my Mom did say to us growing up. Of course now she doesn't say much to me or anyone so I don't know what that means.

Posted by Sharon Lee, Retired and loving life (Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance) about 10 years ago

Hi Sharon -- I know your attitude is all about cooperation!

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Helping make your real estate dreams a reality (Compass) about 10 years ago

What a great reblog!

Posted by Debbie Walsh, Hudson Valley NY Real Estate 845.283-3036 (Shahar Management) about 10 years ago

When I first read this I thought it was you Lottie and got indignant!  You are so right this is extremely sad.  A shame when your coworkers can't want the best for each other and only want to be the only one who is "doing well."  Such a shame.

Posted by Debbie Walsh, Hudson Valley NY Real Estate 845.283-3036 (Shahar Management) about 10 years ago

Hi Debra - no, not my experience, but an important reminder to us from Elizabeth Weintraube. Glad you liked the re-blog.

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Helping make your real estate dreams a reality (Compass) about 10 years ago

Excellent re-blog.  Sometimes we need to remind our peers they can say more with silence.  Jealousy robs everyone it touches.  What so many fail to recognize in this industry, is that when one of our coworkers does well, it serves as a catalyst for the rest of us to do well; it creates positive synergy -- if we get out of the way and allow it to happen.  Thanks.

Posted by Tish Lloyd, Broker - Wilmington NC and Surrounding Beaches (BlueCoast Realty Corporation) about 10 years ago

Hi Tish - I'm in complete agreement with you about the positive synergy we can choose to create.

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Helping make your real estate dreams a reality (Compass) about 10 years ago