So, what IS the speed of dark?

Don't you love e-mail? When I first log on in the morning, there's just no telling what will be waiting for me. Tucked in amongst the spam this morning I found the following:

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.

His mind sees things differently than most of us do. . . 

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked 
something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

--- Come for a visit; Stay for a lifetime!

Lottie Kendall, Realtor®

Pacific Union International

CA DRE#10215160; 650-465-4547

Lottie@LottieKendall.com

www.LottieKendall.com

Peninsula Living Business Page

www.SFCondosForMe.com

 

 

Comment balloon 16 commentsLottie Kendall • February 01 2012 07:20AM

Comments

Loved it...there are some great lines in there!

Posted by Sue Ellett, Marble Falls, & Austin, TX, Lake Travis, Lake LBJ (Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate ~ Paragon Property Group) almost 7 years ago

Good morning Lottie,

Great, fun post - thank you for sharing these, I love #9.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Posted by Lisa Von Domek, ....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless! (Lisa Von Domek Team) almost 7 years ago

Memorable fun list. Thanks for passing it forward. Fav is #12 about the speed of dark. Now I have something new to think about before sunrise... LOL

 

Posted by Emily Medvec Qualifying Broker, Realtor | Serving Santa Fe & Northern NM (Hello Realty Partners) almost 7 years ago

Steven Wright is one of my favorite comics. . his mind is out of this world.. .thansk for the laugh

Posted by Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group, 301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA (Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001) almost 7 years ago

Stephen Wright is one of my absolute favorites.

  • "I decorated both floors of my house the exact same way so I never have to go upstairs."
Posted by Joshua Stein, Homes For Sale - Montgomery County (Coldwell Banker Preferred - Conshohocken) almost 7 years ago

I'm glad you enjoyed these --- I have more for you tomorrow!

Joshua, thanks for contributing! And Emily, we are up way too early.

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

Good morning, Lottie....that was a fun list to read....I'll have to find more Steven Wright material....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, "Franklin MA Homes" (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) almost 7 years ago

Great food for thought for a rainy Wednesday morning.  I'll be pondering the question of the speed of dark all day until it gets dark.  Then I'll have the answer.

Posted by Ralph Janisch ABR CRS Broker, Selling Northwest Houston to good people like you! (Janisch & Co.) almost 7 years ago

Thanks, Lottie... these were great!  Will have to check him out on Google and see what other gems I can find...

Posted by Peggy Hughes/pha logistix, inc., SF NYC LA (pha logistix inc) almost 7 years ago

Barbara, you're in for a treat--I'll post more tomorrow!

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

Hi Jeanne and Ralph, hope the rain has let up by now. Is it dark yet?

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

Hi Peggy -- I woke ridiculously early this morning, and really enjoyed these. #13 had me giggling!

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

#10 & 13 really gave me a smile. Thanks for the post Lottie. Oops forgot #9 ... All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. Now that's funny!

Posted by Nancy Laswick, Your REALTOR® For The Valley Of The Sun (United Real Estate) almost 7 years ago

Nancy, #13 is the one that never fails to put a smile on my face, too. It takes me back to grade school days when we'd write notes in lemon juice!

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

Lottie, when I first heard Steven Wright do stand-up comedy years and years ago, it was like I found a long-lost family member.  Yeah, in person... he is that weird.

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) almost 7 years ago

I bet he's weird--in a good way--his mind just works differently. Hope you enjoyed these, Karen Anne

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley (Compass) almost 7 years ago

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