Don't you love e-mail? When I first log on in the morning, there's just no telling what will be waiting for me. Tucked in amongst the spam this morning I found the following:
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
His mind sees things differently than most of us do. . .
Here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Happy Wednesday, everyone!
--- Just another benefit of living here!
Lottie Kendall, Realtor
Today | Sotheby's International Realty
San Carlos, California, 94070
DRE#01215160; 650-465-4547;
Peninsula Living: San Mateo County and Silicon Valley Real Estate
Loved it...there are some great lines in there!
Good morning Lottie,
Great, fun post - thank you for sharing these, I love #9.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!
Memorable fun list. Thanks for passing it forward. Fav is #12 about the speed of dark. Now I have something new to think about before sunrise... LOL
Steven Wright is one of my favorite comics. . his mind is out of this world.. .thansk for the laugh
Stephen Wright is one of my absolute favorites.
I'm glad you enjoyed these --- I have more for you tomorrow!
Joshua, thanks for contributing! And Emily, we are up way too early.
Good morning, Lottie....that was a fun list to read....I'll have to find more Steven Wright material....
Great food for thought for a rainy Wednesday morning. I'll be pondering the question of the speed of dark all day until it gets dark. Then I'll have the answer.
Thanks, Lottie... these were great! Will have to check him out on Google and see what other gems I can find...
Barbara, you're in for a treat--I'll post more tomorrow!
Hi Jeanne and Ralph, hope the rain has let up by now. Is it dark yet?
Hi Peggy -- I woke ridiculously early this morning, and really enjoyed these. #13 had me giggling!
#10 & 13 really gave me a smile. Thanks for the post Lottie. Oops forgot #9 ... All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. Now that's funny!
Nancy, #13 is the one that never fails to put a smile on my face, too. It takes me back to grade school days when we'd write notes in lemon juice!
Lottie, when I first heard Steven Wright do stand-up comedy years and years ago, it was like I found a long-lost family member. Yeah, in person... he is that weird.
I bet he's weird--in a good way--his mind just works differently. Hope you enjoyed these, Karen Anne