Yesterday I posted some great quips of Steven Wright's that a friend sent me. Here are the rest:
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever.... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Happy Thursday, everyone!
--- Just another benefit of living here!
Lottie Kendall, Realtor
Today | Sotheby's International Realty
San Carlos, California, 94070
DRE#01215160; 650-465-4547;
Peninsula Living: San Mateo County and Silicon Valley Real Estate
I like you blog. Thanks for sharing, especially 33
Glad you enjoyed these. #19 spoke to me.
#29 is the one I found most interesting, but love them all Lottie, fun stuff!
Enjoyed them all, but #27 made me smile. Thanks, Lottie!
Hi Roger and Peggy -- glad these made your smile. Wouldn't Steven Wright be a great dinner party guest??
Thanks for the great humor to see us through to the weekend! Love 30 and 33. Not so sure about missing just film but the developer in the brain as well!
Excellent contribution for the day, Lottie! Excellent! And I can just hear the monotone voice that Steven Wright always delivers his lines in. Soooo funny ... thank you!
Gene
Awesome, Lottie. And lol on #23
Those are some good ones Lottie...nice to get some quick smiles and laughs at the end of a hectic day.
He certainly would, lets get together and make the guest list Lottie!
I liked numbers 19,24 and 35 not that I've done them or been there done that type of thing. Thanks for the post enjoy the day
Jennifer, you could write your own. Needing developer is great!
Gene, I'll have to see if I can find a YouTube clip of Steven Wright. There must be some.
David, you could have used the louder horn on your way to our Meet Up in December.
Doug, I'm glad you liked these. It's fun to see which ones spoke to people. #19 is great but #22 make me grin everytime I read it.
Roger, an imaginary dinner party is something I've played with over the years. Fun to think about--who we'd invite and why.
James, my Wordsmith friend, I thought you'd appreciate these! Glad you did.
I like them all. Fun post and a few even provided food for thought. I did like the scared to death twice and made your horn louder. Enjoy your Friday. D
Cute one liners that will give pause to laugh and think at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
Good morning, Debb -- glad you enjoyed these. I cracked up when I first read them.
Hi Judi -- clever guy, that Steven Wright!
Lottie ~ priceless! and true and funny! Thanks for the morning chuckle.
Glad you liked them, Terrie. I think many of us need to work on #17 -- I don't remember how to be lazy!
So funny, Lottie! Love your blogs!
I'm glad you liked these, Edy. Most mornings when I wake up, #19 pops into mind!
#27 is so true and something, I think, every REALTOR can relate to. Thanks Lottie.
Nancy, you're SO right! That could be a blog post of its own, couldn't it?
Lottie... thanks so much. One of the reasons I just love Steven Wright is that his sense of humor is as strange as mine is. It's so hard to find folks like that.
These really stayed with me. So much fun.